Introduction
many Chinese students have a common problem: need someone to arrange everything, everything needs to rely on others. From primary to secondary school, from school to university, from university to employment, if they are listening to parents, listen to your teacher the good boy, but they never seem to know what kind of life really do not know what issues should be independent in the decision. Such students may be in a stable environment as well as the rigid step by step to learn, live, but unable to adapt to today's rapidly changing information age, talent requirements.
I had with the choice of the right to in-depth conversation. We all agree that well-known management expert Peter. Drucker (Peter Druker) point of view: innovation, but a major change in the human condition. In this century, people will have more choice, they must actively manage their own. the gap between the world as never before era of innovative, proactive, positive, strong people than those passive, passive, confused people more to create the greatest value, get the most pleasure.
2005, I read the Apple CEO Steve husband. Jobs (Steve Jobs) at Stanford University Commencement speech. his words plain, firm and full of charisma: is secondary. young friends wrote the first book, said: I read a bit of Chinese students, of what to do, I did not want to; primary school, the parents gave me the goal is to test middle school, junior high school admitted to do, I never thought of; junior high school, the parents gave me the goal is to test high school, admitted to What high school, I never thought of; high school, the parents gave me the goal is to test into college, go to college to do, I have not thought about; at university, parents gave me the goal is to go abroad, going abroad to do What, I have not thought about; now studying to get a degree, find work, what do I do next? This time, I want to Think it over. Thank you for the third letter, which awakened I buried a 25-year initiative, it changed my passive way of life 25 years. From now on, I should take the initiative for themselves to live! to and teachers where to get help, it is very easy to develop the habit of passive. So many young Chinese are not good at planning their growth initiative route, do not know how to actively seek out resources to their academic and life to a higher step .
the other hand, Chinese parents and teachers accustomed to pre-empt the way to help children design life planning, which often makes a lot of people lose sight of their real character and interest, when these children grow up, most of them will find themselves feeling lost in the should influence the thinking of generations of young people, so many young people think, I have the first four letters mentioned the importance of active, I decided to write a special letter on pro-active.
talent to become international, in the information age in order to play its full potential, each ambitious young Chinese should make efforts to force themselves from passive to active, we must become masters of their own future, we must actively manage their academic and future career mm no one cares more about you than your own work and life, there is no more suitable than you manage your life and career, and only pro-active you can find the real br> active (Pro-active) The term was first used by the famous psychologist Victor. Frank referral to the public. Frank himself is a positive initiative, and never bow to difficulties typical.
was originally a by Frank Freudian psychology deeply influenced the decision of school psychologist, but he has experienced in the Nazi concentration camp, after a miserable years, creating a unique style out of school psychology.
Frank's parents, his wife, brother died of the clutches of the Nazis, while he was in the Nazi concentration camps tortured. One day, he being naked alone in a cell, suddenly aware of a new feeling mm, perhaps, is the concentration camps harsh environment so that he suddenly alert: helplessness and suffering, he can still decide his attitude to life. in the most difficult years, Frank chose a positive attitude. He did not despair, but in the mind ideas how to stand on their own after release platform on this painful experience to introduce their students. With this positive, optimistic way of thinking, he was in prison continue to hone their own will, until his mind beyond the prison's detention, in a free world in any ride.
Frank in prison thinking that criteria, it is each of our people to succeed in life must have a proactive attitude mm.
passive and active in many aspects There are huge differences:
passive aggressive people who
themselves and the environment affected by the environment around
their own right to choose the people and things
it may lead people
progress led or move things
seek help when problems
environment of independent thinking
bad complaining
aggressive
often say that only you can tell me how to do it.
I must submit to the arrangements for the environment.
who can tell me what to choose professional?
how no one noticed me?
I always do not have time to do something.
only you can tell me how to do it.
my parents have diabetes, I would have.
all by myself, I can do better .
I have the right to choose.
I want to develop a plan to select the most suitable for my profession.
I'm going to learn how to arouse people's attention.
unimportant what should I give up things, the most important thing to do?
only I have the right and responsibility to decide how I do.
Although parents have diabetes, but as long as attention to exercise, diet, can reduce the risk of disease. < br> passive (Reactive) by people who always think they are about the environment and others, if others do not pointing, the environment does not change, and that they continue to live only a negative. encounter a problem, people always find passive who helped the decision, the environment is not good, they will blame on others. They are always waiting for fate or elegant aid. For one thing, they always think that things are looking on them, things they can not dominate or drive the progress.
active (Pro-active) who believe that in any case, we always have the right to choose. so they always have a sense of responsibility on their own, because the fate of the control in their own hands, while he and is not a vassal of the environment or others. For one thing, they always believe that things happen they can lead the development.
Why active?
Thirty years ago, in the industrial society, each employee enterprises in the machine is a gear. Although the machine need to gear, but gear is replaceable. The best gear is durable, not excellent. So like most people these companies are:
a professional knowledge , who can work hard.
passage of time, in today's rapidly changing era, the definition of people of talent, great changes have taken place, because in the modern enterprise, there are more people to enjoy the right decision , more people must be innovative in thinking, but also more people have enough space to decide what to do, to how to do most of the work of the hh is no longer a mechanical duplication of effort, but must be independent thinking, independent decision-making in the complex process. renowned management expert Peter. Drucker (Peter Druker) pointed out: significant changes in the human condition. In this century, people will have more choice, they must actively manage their own. passionate, flexible and confident person.
in the modern enterprise in order to be successful, we need to develop their own active consciousness: at work to take responsibility, take the initiative to set their own goals, and continuous improvement approach and methods; addition, it should develop the ability to promote their own, or colleagues in the leadership before the performance to be good at your strengths,
as a younger generation of contemporary China, you should not just passively wait for others to tell you what to do, but should take the initiative to learn what to do, and planning them, and then go all out to complete. Think of the most successful in today's world those people, there are several that have stuck to passive people? take their studies and research project, you need to be a mother to the child of a sense of responsibility fully engaged, and continuous efforts. As long as there proactive, no goal is unattainable.
In fact, many young people is not without pro-active attitude to make their own decisions on major issues but not used to make their own decisions. If I asked a Chinese university student: decide what kind of computer to buy, what movie to see, what to read and so on. of course, need to decide these things, but many more important decisions made by your own need. For example, read like what professional, read what the school , PubMed, or such decisions to go abroad, you might be accustomed to listening to the arrangements for their parents, or refer to the majority of students choose mm everyone knows, the most important of these issues, a decision only you can help you towards true success. own the decision does not matter, but have a significant impact on the decision of his life actually can others. This is how illogical it! In addition, even if you make a decision, it would not advance you have spent enough time to investigate and research. rash or hasty decision could make you regret it for life!
When the Google founders Sergey. Brin (Sergey Brin) and Larry. Page (Larry Page) on TV is accessed, the reporter asked them which should be attributed to the success of the school, they did not answer at Stanford University or the University of Michigan, and the answer is profit educational environment, they learn to
Therefore, every young person should have a positive and active mind, you must be good at planning and managing their own careers, for their most important choices to make in life. No one cares more about you than your own business , nothing like the same proactive manner to better reflect your own independent personality.
As the American poet Walt Whitman, place you traveled that way; You have to go. to adjust their attitude, develop their own habits, learning to grasp the opportunity to create opportunities for ways to show themselves in the process of positive gain success and happiness.
(1) has a positive attitude and optimistic outlook on life
(6) actively seek to create opportunities
(7) to actively promote their own initiative
seven steps
proactive step one: be positive, optimistic outlook on life
psychologists had found that: a person is defeated, not because of obstacles to the external environment, but on how his reaction to the environment. China national football team coach Milutinovic said before Attitude is everything positive attitude, you will be able to optimistic, creative ideas to put 50,000 into positive energy and power; If your attitude is negative, you will be very pessimistic, weakness, lack of security, while idea of these 50,000 will become negative obstacles and resistance.
negative people to allow or expect to control their own environment, like all the arrangements to listen to others, but in this case, he could not control their own destiny capacity, can not be avoided defeat; the contrary, positive person always indomitable perseverance the face of difficulties, his success is just around the corner. positive people always use the most optimistic spirit and the most brilliant experience of domination, control your life; negative person is exactly the opposite, their life is always in the past all shadow of failure and confusion.
have a positive attitude, and can not guarantee every success. a positive attitude will certainly change a person's lifestyle, but does not guarantee that all wishes come true he was everything; However, negative attitudes persist but will be lost, I have never seen a negative attitude held by people who can achieve sustainable The real success.
course, not everything must be selected by themselves, not every thing can be by themselves to lead. So, the choice of a positive attitude, we have peace of mind , that is, I always say the sentence:
the courage to change things can change, there are things that can not be changed mind to accept the wisdom to know the difference.
Step Two: Keep away from the habit of passive Start small and work habits of passive
is the biggest obstacle to active, if you grew up in the negative, passive environment, grow up, you should try to remove themselves even more of those negative factors have.
example , passive people are always superstitious fatalism, the unhappy things have to blame genetics, Constellation, blood type and other factors, and thus become self-pity, is not always blame others, criticized the harsh environment mm If this idea became habits, he will be caught in the vicious cycle of passive, unable to extricate himself.
young how to stay away from passive? I would like to make five recommendations:
one, do not blindly listen to hide, should be calm and Analysis positive confirmation
Now, rumors circulating the Internet regularly. If you blindly believe these rumors, you will be around some people with ulterior motives. For example, some students sent a letter and said: of course, because it can issue a degree at Cambridge University l r. confirmation as soon as you can Bianqi authenticity.
In addition, many students do not know how to take the initiative to search and verify information, methods or importance. there are many students asked me to help him find information on a certain university, and even there I asked the students to the meaning and usage of a word mm Indeed, this information simply search on the Internet, you can find the answer. Therefore, every time I found the answer, always told the students, said:
to find the things you should take the initiative to do everything to influence
things happen to you because you should decide to develop, change, rather than doing nothing because you only become reality. < br> One student told me: The company did not hire me, I went to another company to go. what? Microsoft surprised she is one of the most senior Chinese managers. but if you talk to her for a minute, you is not surprised. She speaks every word reveals the self-confidence and a positive and optimistic leadership, and rigorous logic and strategic thinking. She told me a story she was active:
not bad, but the grammar, vocabulary, composition are not. although my math SAT was 780 points (almost perfect score of 800 points), but the English had only a 280 points. If done nothing there are 200 points, 280 points you can imagine is How terrible! But I still hope to apply for the University of California, Department of Electrical Engineering. But I admit defeat, I am sure if I was accepted, I will be a successful engineer. So, I decided to appeal l r. In the letter, I introduced myself, I am proud to describe the University's achievements, I explained the six months I came to the United States in English, emphasizing that my spirit of learning and hard work. Finally, I said: l Madam President, if you admit me, I promise I will be your school's property. r has already made rapid progress. I told her personally guarantee that my English and American students will learn as well. A week later, the University of California to rescind the order, decided to admit me. others, should learn to long period of time even knowing what their own idea of what it is. They habitually every time someone asked:
to get rid of this habit, you need to resolve to every little thing should express their views, even if you do not really care. For example, to decide what food in the restaurant, decide their own dress, the weekend to decide where to go play, and so on. You should learn to live on their own to make reasonable arrangements rather than comments, remember to remind ourselves that their choice must take the show out. even in their own do not really care or are not sure when, but also the right to express their own ideas. so that disappeared.
not affected by others, do not feel that they must be expressions of opinion. Are there any people always like to tell you what to do? If so, determined to ask them not to do so. If they do not listen, then do with them.
That is, We have to try to make their own subconscious, , do not say less than whether the need to improve their ability in a certain area, then head back to deal with this problem? Do not escape, said he had no choice or no time mm no lack of time, but, the way each person has a different time.
five, the use of language subconsciously train yourself
in Steven. Covey's a person's attitude to the environment.
accustomed to passive people, the words of blame will be personality showing.
example, they will complain when angry, said: mm they want to say is: I am not responsible, is the force of my emotions around.
they always complain: opportunity to choose.
They also like to say: : The words include: ; Learning speech patterns of those active in the multi-spoke br> One student asked me: we will overcome all obstacles; also some students that the world-class end unfair, because whether it is wealth, talent or luck, God always seems to favor others.
this, my answer is: Everything depends on the fate (fatalistic ) and everything on their own (humans over nature) are not appropriate.
everyone has chosen to have the opportunity, however, congenital and environmental factors, how many different opportunities for each person. So, this world is not entirely fair . But because the world is not fair if you give up her own opportunities and choices, that is your own responsibility to blame the world's unfair.
give an analogy. Some people born with because of genetic reasons, may at some point suffer from more serious disease. But this does not mean that he will be sick. if he can seize the opportunity to make the right choice, arrange your exercise and diet, his health than anyone else is likely to ; but if he is not good for r l gene to give up on themselves, then he will almost certainly likely to get sick doubled.
So, everything should think clearly what they can not change and must accept what is they can choose what is to be brave and challenge yourself. When you meet when you can not change things, to be brave to accept it, do not waste time on regret, envy and jealousy on. you should do is actively You can choose to seize fate can be changed, you can maximize your influence part.
Also, even in the most difficult, when you feel fate has cast you away, you always have a choice The. As Frank said: limited to active decisions and to promote the progress of things, it means that people must be responsible for their own. a sense of responsibility is a very important concept, active people who will not blame the environment or their own behavior to others. they treat people, the Association in accordance their own principles or values, made a conscious and responsible choice, rather than completely succumbed to the pressure of the external environment.
responsible for their own people to face life bravely. we do not take the uncertain or difficult things blindly set aside. For example, some students think of English important, but school is not the exam, learning English is not their own; or, some students feel that they need to participate in community training communication skills, but because of shyness is not active application. We must recognize that a solution is not resolved, no decision is a decision, negative solutions and decisions of the opportunity will be lost in front of you, you will one day pay a heavy price.
some students asked me : do not want.
If you want to be a proactive and responsible for their own people, I suggest you act now, according to the following strict demands on themselves:
2 to a full day, listen to yourself and the surrounding people's language, pay attention to whether there is Some people stay away encounter the situation? this situation in your own sphere of influence within it? how you should be in line with the principle of pro-active response? ONE simulated in the mind.
2 from work or in daily life, to find a sense of frustration that you prepared to do. think about which category it belongs to, it can directly control things, or things that can be indirectly controlled by, or simply can not control things? them to their own of the range and put into action to find a solution.
2 to exercise their own sense of initiative. In the next 30 days, to focus on things within the scope of their influence on their promises and to be fulfilled; to do a photo light the candles of others, rather than judge the judges right and wrong; lead by example, do not just criticize; solve problems, not create problems; do not blame others or for their own whitewash, not blaming Heaven, no particular person; do not live in their parents, colleagues or social Under the shadow of, use of talented independent will, and happiness is responsible for their actions. trial thirty days a pro-active training method, look, its own sphere of influence after the training is subject to change?
Step Four : actively trying, and students encounter opportunities
in exchange, I found that some students by a number of setbacks since lost the courage to struggle. For example, some students because the exam-oriented education continues at the university and the university regrets that some because it does not, the students wasted time professional, and graduate students because of academic problems during the encounter frustrated hh do not know if you have not thought about, these are to face setbacks, they need you to have a proactive attitude. everywhere in life is an opportunity, a lot of opportunities to hide among one another setback, front setback discouraged if you are, you are likely to pass with their opportunities.
actively trying to learn the best approach. in an advanced company, you do not need to worry about failure. In a survey, CEO of the United States found that they appreciate most are those who offer to do a new work of employees. whether or not to do At least these people than those who passively accept the work of the staff will be much appreciated, because they have the courage, ambitious, and will learn.
For those who are choosing the path of life for young people, they should actively to try different things. In the United States, parents often say is: Path to success found. Only then can we encounter in life on the road to more opportunities.
my old habits of active start. I remember five years old, I think the kindergarten curriculum is too simple , so with their parents to take the initiative, said: : . self-confidence and lay a solid foundation for positive.
Another example comes from my young friend Guo to illness. His school life is ...
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