We are not home the weekend gang of self-righteous sense of wandering in the city Friends of Dogs and pigs together in a bar. Talking about the alcohol burning in their life, at the Beijing's sad, and now the love, the future plan ... .... Natural light in the dark sweep of the moment, I noticed a very familiar face in the haze of music, he replies with the message. I asked him if his girlfriend in Chagang, he did not speak just one drink a large glass of wine. Then a cigarette, smoke a few bites severely, action is not clear, looked up did not speak, a secret visual often mixed with smoke, as if to search for anything from memory, until the cigarettes smoked on, then a glass of wine ... ...
- Inscription
that year, in the late autumn season with the impulse and young elegant ideal to Beijing. Impulse is: do not listen to the advice of family members that Beijing could give me anything you want. Accor is the ideal child: from the ideal minimum that can not find the time to achieve babbling Impulse of life out of me the first step, but did not go to Tiananmen Square to now played. Because I am afraid, afraid that the desire for a baby but elegant achieved, there was no nostalgia value.
Soon plane in a cultural production company to do the work, first of all very familiar with the company and rarely spoke with people, coupled with my age minimum and colleagues call me good boy. Undertaken six months after the main graphic design work, this little mobility I have a sense of satisfaction, sense of accomplishment. Life is always spent in frustration, so that the good old days are not long, not long before he was transferred to the map as a mapping editorial staff. I remember just been transferred to the Ministry of the map editor that night, at home holding a map of Beijing Look of view, thinking how the roads curve is drawn, it is so covered with maps to sleep one night. May be a blessing in disguise, one year after the map editor somewhat contradictory with the company all my colleagues in the Department of the map away, leaving only myself. Map of the company will soon make up the Department of fans who, I easily landed on the kind of I do not now admit that he is the map editor, although I do have the ability to edit the map in every task, but always felt the Does not depend on their ability to climb step by step, but the changes are a result of the company, although some people say,
life is always smooth in the track and slowly through the emptiness of all sorts of boredom, I started to learn to pass the time on the Internet. The Internet has a strange name, maybe they have different meanings. My screen name The Beijing sky beneath the bitter snow can not shelter my life, ready to attack cold and I could leave at any time. Since then, this
in the network, we look forward to their own . Constantly looking for, continue to lose, continue to meet in a bubble; but in a moment of mental peace have been sufficient. Perhaps the search for Want to take off the disguise reality in virtual space back bit by bit realistic.
remember. Day, just installed a chat tool to be friends, and validation through friends marked the The results did not wait a minute, , and how will see snow swallow it? I'd like you to stay, you do not freeze me out. We talk this way, but I respect the virtual network shield, said some of the feelings of no relation topic; Perhaps it is only way to protect yourself. Word from her eyes could see, she is very sincere, I have been avoiding some of her real problems. The results of Then I was imprisoned as a prisoner for a time actually speechless. Her words are just so awesome, so dignified, so powerful and true to her city is full of respect and awe. I do not know why I could easily believe her and tells her own work situation, living conditions, as well as to the ideal of the university and talk a lot a lot. Buddha said that the language used is the fate, maybe can not be controlled below surrender to her sincerity.
time since I went to talk to her, while she waited. At this time, the world of popular feeling we represented the ultimate in the text, with the days of my life she has more color. Feelings for her has always been special, maybe she's good, perhaps her innocence. Her language has a delicate southerners, is so gentle, like the Buddha Dimei, with a touch of Images and a cordial care; more days of worry and stress will vanish as long as the chat with her. For me she is a saint inviolability of awe-inspiring, so every time to chat will be very careful, very careful, for fear of defilement of her purity.
day, I would like to see her face, ask for pictures to her. She did not refuse, but gave a group photo with the others, so I guess that was her. Looking at the photos, I can not resist the human emotions, in the photo in front of impunity in a daze, as if there ever seen, perhaps the last generation who have traveled together. Looking at the photos again and again, hard to contemplate, is not evoke memories of past lives, what finally got it right. She asked me how to guess what, I asked her if she does not understand the logic leaves red flowers. She said do not know, I sent her a mischievous look then said, no one look at the green leaves do not look red flowers. She do not know (perhaps let me admire her a few), sent her two laughing face told her that most people would find a man than to set off their own almost ... .... Then she sent over the mobile phone number and told me there is no network, they can send text messages to her. Since then, my phone is not just for parents opened.
message every time I see her, feel the overall tone from the phone to her breathing, her sincerity and the pulse of her heart. Words can always be seen in that short period of emotional track, and gradually my heart could not bear, unable to face her ambiguous words and look like a careless word can have a very close between us relationship. I would like to divide across the network, be achieved real life, the total Keeping Thinking early to see her. She said that waiting for me to go to college, if not friends to meet. She will hold meetings when the sack of fries, because she saw The familiar ring worn my self-injury, is so clear. However, those characters can feel lost in her eyes, she's helpless. I kiss the phone, as if sucking lips to go with her tears. Qing Yang's writing is like a snowflake flutters in the warm air, well built in my heart echoed off the outside wall. I deliberately ignore the heart of the sour, from word more
read her text messages each time, immersed in thoughts of myself. She just a word can be taken to my soul, this is the love? I continued to gently ask myself if this is love. So, is doomed, I'm naturally proud and once his mind, and any person, and things can shake and make life choices is a painful, after all, we have chosen the path of life for too little. Ignorance of life made me miserable, step by step feel helpless, incompetent, helpless and began smoking one by one, a bottle of a bottle to drink. Efforts to look for, searching for lost souls. Do not understand what her world is like, and sometimes begin to doubt if I could wake up from fantasy.
I know I found her attitude to those normally very good friends with my view, is unreasonable, is unusual, is far from natural is disturbing. For me, the network has two of the world, it gave me a real world simulation of life, our emotions do not like ordinary Internet users with I was once proud of this, and even a handful of noble self. But sometimes I am feeling very uneasy feeling in the end we do not know how long they can. If used her gentle, and so lost the day and not knowing how to do. May be lightly dispersed, perhaps ... ..., dare to go. In dreams we meet by chance, and suddenly turned around to see her, found her grow old, the old too much, her smile has not changed, but when he laughs no teeth, walking stick as a need Zhu ; eyes have not changed, or white-frame glasses askew, always so bright, we were doubted when they see tears in their eyes ... .... Wake up after the heart is empty, perhaps in time and space, then felt the meaning of what is the meaning and feel the vicissitudes of the real meaning hazy emotions.
... ...
; ; ; ; ; - Last record
; at us out of the bar, romantic, slightly melancholy autumn wind blowing chilly in the body, there is no point can dream space. Waving at him while walking home that can only be blessed in their hearts place. Indeed, the network gives us too much, but we get too little too little, no one would like with their significance.
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